to my twin,

I’ve been tasked by my therapists to write a letter to you. I’ve put it off for the last 2 or 3 weeks because I don’t feel I have anything to truly say to you. I still feel that way.

I have no idea if you’re real or not, but I do care if you are or aren’t. I would like to be free of this delusion or feelings of delusion. it causes me so much stress and pain believing someone who could love me to my core isn’t physically in my life. I’m okay with the reality of that, but I’m not okay with the feelings of it. how do I release this? what can I do to be rid of it?

you’ve been a beautiful experience in my life because you’ve allowed me to see parts of myself I didn’t, and you’ve allowed me to imagine a better life for myself, one that is able to experience unconditional love. I value the loved and seen feelings I have with you at times, but the emotional pain and separation anxiety is too overwhelming. it has been for a long time, and it feels like I’m completely breaking down into nothingness. more of nothing than what I already think of myself. I’m tired. I want all of this to end, so I may transition into a better reality.

___________

[for context: I experience what I perceived to be a telepathic twin flame connection. I am not interested in opinions on if this experience is real or not in the sense of physical reality because it’s still something I am personally experiencing and therefor real in my perspective.]