Sh*t genuinely sucks being fugly

Living a normal life is a dream. I daydream the whole day wishing i was normie with a avg looking face, with a girlfriend, some friends i could talk to. I genuinely get freaked out when i go outside knowing my face looks like a freaking fugly mad experiment. All this stress caused me to become anhedonic, I haven't felt happiness for like the past 7-8 years. Honestly, I don't feel like a human with all these mental and physical problems. But today was so brutal. I was walking by this empty road and this girl was walking behind me, i only noticed her when she started walking fast and crossed me ahead. She was such a beautiful angel, short, beautiful hair, looked so down to earth, above average without a doubt. You know sometimes u just fall in love with strangers without any reason. Honestly it sparked something in me at that moment. I felt this happiness for a brief moment and forgot i look like a dried stick. Then reality just had to kick in. I imagine she would probably get scared if i went near her or at least be super irritated by presence of a monster. This incident shattered everything. It's so brutal as a sub 5. I don't know why I'm still alive.