Feeling a bit lost

I was laid off about 2 weeks ago. My company decided to restructure and cut mine and a few of my co-workers job. It’s sucks the most because I loved my job and was hoping this would be the place I would work until retirement. Leadership also only sang our praises, told us they loved the projects and wanted more and more. Then suddenly, no job.

Now, I’m trying to find another job, trying to pick up contract work as I look for another job in a market that everyone is telling me will take 6 months to a year to land a job, if I’m lucky.

But I’m also able to relax for the first time in a long time, if that makes sense. My kids asked me to come have lunch with them at school this week—no problem. School needs volunteers for end-of-year testing—I’m your gal. Need to finish some projects around the house—I’ll get them done now.

But I also wonder about the next job and when it will come and stress about what I might have to ask my kids to sacrifice while I look for another job. And I wonder if now is the time to change careers? I have—at minimum—another 22 years of work ahead of me; if I wanted to change careers, it would be now. But to what?!? I am still as clueless as I was 22 and starting my career. I don’t know if I can go back to school (I mean, I know I can, but it seems selfish on one side—my kids future should take priority). How do you know? Why can’t I be paid to just read books all day in the grass?

I don’t know if this is the best post for this group, but have any of you changed careers after 20 years? What did you change to? Anyone with English literature degrees end up in something not related to that?

I feel so lost and, not really worthless, but aimless, maybe. I always work and always have an answer, so I really don’t know what to do here with no answer within reach.