Is it valid realize im gay without being in a relationship with a girl or in general

I saw comments before saying like if you don't have history with a girl how sure are you that you are gay. I would like to know your thoughts and share my story realizing and coming to terms being gay. I am not really doubting my sexuality, since for me sexuality is like a wave, you discover more about yourself as you live life. I am more so curious about different views on this take I read.

Growing up I never really cared about crushes and stuff. I never had a crush when I was younger. I noticed when I was I never really cared about boys and I just liked watching pretty girls (like cartoons, winx club, barbie). They're just more interesting to me and more pretty. During junior high, to blend in or belong I pretended to have a crush on a guy. I also tried to like watching boy groups, but it never really appealed to me. During this time I started to notice that I'm kind of different from my peers, since unlike them I don't really find the appeal of boys whenever they go crazy about them. I also prefer girls more in general, I find them more pretty. That should have been clear enough, but alas, I was raised in a religious household—I study in a catholic school too. The reason it never really dawned on me is because I confused sexual orientation and gender identity. I always thought that I'm not gay since I identify myself as a girl. Looking back almost all my friends are gay as well. The media never really represented queerness accurately I had this view that gay relationships should have men and women roles. Though it should be obvious, my young self had this schema about this and it was hard to unlearn. In pursuit to understand myself, I asked one of my girl friends who have a gf, "who is the man in the relationship" which they got offended by—understandably. During this time I am really wondering if I liked girls or if liking them means I'm gay if I consider myself a girl. I eventually told a close friend "I think I like girls", I never told them the reason but it's cause there's this girl in school that is in a band that I find cool and me thinking about that girl being interested in me (or girls in general) is not bad but lowkey I liked the idea more, that a girl likes me more than a boy liking me. Still never really considered myself gay at this point. When I was in shs, I transferred to a university which was more diverse. I encountered a friend that is gay, which I asked the same offending question, I told them that "This may sound offensive, but I'm just really curious, that if you have a relationship with a girl is there like a 'guy' in that relationship" then they answered "no that's the point there's no guys" then boom my mind is blown. Sometimes you just have to hear it. I then learned the difference between identifying as a girl and being attracted to one. After that I never really thought still if im gay since I haven't had a crush on a girl yet. After a year, I eventually had to face this like seeing wlw couple and me finding them cute and like thinking me being with a girl is more fitting, I tried imagining that it's a guy but I don't like it. Then I really had to face myself, am I gay or what. I started reading wlw stories and I found myself giggling unlike reading hetero relationships. That's when it dawned on me—I AM GAY. Looking back it's quite obvious, I like watching yuri or anime that have like yuri subtexts. I watch it like a guilty pleasure, and when I ship two girls, I always think that it's a shame they can't be together.

After realizing that I am gay I was really scared, cause how am I supposed to live in a world that condemns me. How will my friends look at me when they know. I know they'll accept me but I'm still scared. After a year of being scared, I eventually accepted who I am, like fuck it I'm gay, told my close friends and went through 1st yr of college. I met new people, didn't tell them I am gay—still scared. In my 2nd year, I told one of my college friends, they told me that they're not shocked since when they are gushing about handsome men, I never really did the same or I dont mention that. Eventually, my whole group knows. Some are shocked cause I think I don't look gay, since I had this long unlayered like wavy hair. During this time I felt free somewhat I still feel scared telling people I'm gay though even though I know like if I did tell people in my univ they won't care. I also had this suffocating feeling since I was not out with my guardian. I eventually reached a point that I said fuck it I'll come out. My guardian is religious, even before coming out I tried to gauge if they're super homophobic. I asked if gay is a sin and they told me that it is. I tried priming them like, introducing gay stuff or arguing about gay stuff I heard. Okay, going back I came out, this was really hard I was like at their back trying to start a convo, but I can't do it like they're sitting on the sofa and I am right behind trying to muster up courage. I think I stood there for an hour, I eventually said that I will say something theyre going to be mad about, then I started crying cause they'll be mad. Then they said that they'll be more mad if I didn't say. Then I told them I'm gay, and surprisingly they didn't kick me out or had a super bad reaction. They told me it's okay her friend's niece is also gay. I asked them, won't you like to throw me out, they laughed and said no. I asked, but being gay is a sin, they said yes it's in the bible but never really told me I'm a sin. Then I asked if ever in the future I have a girlfriend it's ok? Then they told me no one would like me anyways (?). I think they told me this since I have never really been in a relationship. They also told me that it's ok if ever i had a gf, like it's my life and they'll be dead anyways by that point (?). Ok so that's my coming out story, after this I feel free actually I'm not out to the whole family but I am out to the most important family I have, I feel more comfortable now saying to strangers that I am gay. Is it ok to consider myself gay even though I have never been in a relationship like ever? I noticed that some don't consider a person gay if they dont have like history of being with girls. I had crushes though! I had a crush on this girl for like a year, I never really talked to her since I am scared of making the first move in general. Then I decided to try to show my admiration to them by giving them a handmade gift I made. My intention of giving that gift is simply to show them I admire them, I am not expecting to be in a relationship with them I just want to try and express my feelings. Unfortunately, I did not have the chance to give to them, since I planned ro give it if ever I bumped into them and that never happened. So I took that as a sign to back off. I also had no like chances to like flirt with someone since, I usually just stay at home and like do diff hobbies. Besides, I don't know how to flirt or like to talk to romantic interests.

But anyways, though I am single I find it peaceful coming to terms with my sexuality, and being able to accept myself or understand queerness has made me more aware politically to other topics like war, racism and such. I am happy to be queer/gay (I prefer to be unlabaled) and if given another life I hope I am still a woman that loves women. Thank you for reading!