BF lied about going to the bar with a girl—everything else has been great and I’m torn

I (30F) have been dating my boyfriend (28M) for 6 months. We were both previously married and have been very intentional—he’s been consistent, caring, talks about marriage, I know his family, etc. He’s also been cheated on before and always said he would never do that.

Recently he told me he was going out with a guy friend from the army that was in town (I’ve never heard of him). I let him use my credit card for us to get points (and he sends me the $), so I saw two pretty high bar charges, and had a weird feeling about it. He’s normally pretty responsive and very communicative about what he’s doing so when I hadn’t heard from him in a few hours, I got this feeling that he’s lying. i felt psycho for doing this but I decided to call the bar and the bartender said he was there earlier with a woman.

We share locations, and I saw he was parked at a random neighborhood spot for 2 hours after midnight and not responding (which again is unlike him). I drove there and found him passed out in his car, throwing up.

When I confronted him, his story kept changing: guy friend → girl from the army → actually a former coworker. Other details didn’t line up either, and he deleted his call logs and map history. We’ve also had clear boundaries about not doing 1:1 drinks with the opposite sex. He was alone in the car btw and started apologizing, says she ubered home etc.

He says he didn’t cheat and kept reiterating that he would never do that to me, he didn’t want to lose me and didn’t think I would understand. He says she’s just a coworker from his last job and she was in town and she’s someone he “trauma bonded” with bc they both were cheated on, and he’s been very apologetic and says he’ll do anything to rebuild trust. He also tried to minimize or deflect by saying she’s fat. 🙄

But I’m struggling because:

•	he knowingly crossed a boundary

•	he lied multiple times

•	the story kept changing

•	I had to trust my gut to find out

Everything else in the relationship has been really good, which is why I feel so torn. I kind of believe him about not being physical with her but why hide all the call logs and shit. He says he freaked out. This morning he called me and said she called him at 7am to make sure he was ok then I said ok let me see your call logs and he says I deleted them. So like why again?? This is so weird I’ve never been cheated on or anything I’ve never dealt with this honestly. He’s never lied or been shady like this before so I feel that a part of me does believe that he was afraid of me not letting him hang out with her but honestly he broke that trust. I told him he could’ve hung out with her and included me. So anyways he sends me a screenshot of their text and it says 9am. I’m like but didn’t you say she called at 7am. Is this planned??? Sorry this is so long but he kept apologizing and said what do i need to do to make this up, i fucked up I know o broke the trust, I can’t lose you, etc. I told him I’m not making any decisions now but I’m going to need time. This isn’t something we can just go back to normal from. And he kept saying also I will never do this again I will do whatever it takes etc.

I’m struggling bc I can’t prove that he did anything physical but the trust is broken. Idk what to do. If I caught him with her I would be like fuck you bye. I also told him, pls if you cheated just let me know so we can have a clean cut I won’t tell anyone or embarrass you or tell your family I just don’t want to be strung along. He’s like almost in tears telling me he didn’t cheat and that I know he wouldn’t etc.

Is this something people come back from??? How the fuck do you rebuild trust with this. Even worth it?