Trans guy trying to navigate the gay community

I'm trying to find my place in the gay community, but I don't know how to navigate. I look like a masculine solidly built man with well developed facial hair and for all intents and purposes pass as a "regular" heterosexual man. I've only in recent years understood that I'm attracted to and want to build some kind of life, with another man, so I'm completely new to trying to date men. I don't know what to do or how to behave, because I know that gay men love 🍆 and I just don't have one of those. I'm not interested in casual sex, so I'm not able to explore that type of gay experience.

I guess I'm just wondering what you guys think, would you be able to date a guy without a 🍌, would that be a deal-breaker for you? I'm a very outgoing person, I'm a very dominant person in fact, and chatting up a cute guy would come naturally for me, but I'm holding back because I picture the horror in the guy's face when I tell him there's nothing in my pants.

I posted this in a the askgaybros sub and was immediately deleted. It didn't feel great, so I'm hoping I won't get deleted here as well. I am a grown adult.