2 months no contact, one last problem before completely moving on, I feel like his name is on the tip of my tongue, like I might accidentally say his name, so everytime before I talk, I pause, what is this?

Classmates 8 years ago, been friends since the beginning. Dated for the last 2.5 years, long distance. He cheated during the first 10 months, extremely disrespectful, non-chalant, threatening, no accountability, passive aggressive, dismissive, cruel jokes etc for the next 20 months, chased me 3 months after the breakup, then completely put the blame on my reactions and left.

I feel like his name is on the tip of my tongue, like I might accidentally say his name, so everytime before I talk, I pause, what is this?

Other than that:

I don't miss him, I miss feeling wanted.

I don't miss him, I miss the text conversations.

I'm not tempted to stalk him.

And the missing happens only 5-10 minutes a day, I'm doing well now.

I don't want to get back together, I'll cry because he's not loyal and he already cheated and takes no accountability, he's characterless. I cannot expect him to change into a good person because he's not capable.

I just don't want him to tell his next girlfriend and all his guy friends and girl friends framing my reactions to his actions as crazy and unhinged. it makes me uncomfortable. that's unresolved.