Completely lost

Devoted my life after high school studying shit I hated dreaming of the day I’d graduate so I can finally pursue what I love. I spent my entire university life alone and losing sleep and slogging away at projects I hated all the time. One week after graduating I end up in an accident severely injuring my spine and being unable to move around or sit up or even lie down flat on my back. I could only stay lying down on one of my sides without excruciating pain. Barely managed to apply to study what I wanted once I was able to sit up for a few hours at a time to do work. Got admitted while I managed to find an internship in the field I wanted to pursue. All this time I start getting strange symptoms but I ignore them because I was afraid it would be a serious disease. I couldn’t attend university abroad because that country stopped visa applications for a few months so I deferred to this year. I went back to intern but ended up coming home because I fell extremely ill and couldn’t get out of bed. Thankfully it’s not cancer but it’s still debilitating and has been taking a while to recover from. The worst part is this all has affected my mental health and I’m not able to create at all. My visa got rejected to study and I don’t know what to do now. I feel so useless and alone. I’m in my mid twenties and my body feels like I’m an old person and I have wasted my youth doing stuff I hate. I won’t be able to get a decent job without a degree in the field I want to do. And I don’t even think my health is good enough to pursue it anymore. I have no social or dating life. It’s not even that people don’t like me. I get along well with others but nobody bothers putting in mutual effort to have any kind of relationship with me and it has always been this way no matter who I talk to. I have nothing to look forward to except pursuing my passion and I don’t think I will be able to do it anymore.