Pain and forgiveness

I'm trying to get out of a toxic situation. I said some unkind things out of self protection. I have a heart that hates to hurt others. The guilt is eating me alive. This is not the first time, it's been push and pull for many months now and I felt that was the only way to leave the situation for good. Please pray I find forgiveness toward myself and to trust in God's bigger plans for me, to allow God to work for the good in my life, that I allow myself to receive it and to feel God's love for me inside this pain right now