No Face

“Your feelings are no longer a priority in my life.”

This is what you said to me.

This is what happened.

That sentence turned on the lights. I foresaw it. I paid attention to the things that were said. The change in tone. The body language. Your actions. I anticipated you. Then I destroyed you and banished you from my sphere of existence. Those who know you and still talk to you are either converted into my double agents or have been called out and pushed to the fringes of the kingdom. It’s no fairy tale shit. Values mean something and when i saw the deficits in your character i had the wisdom and knowledge to look deep within myself and the way become clear. All I did was hold up a few of your red flags and you dramatically overreacted as I knew you would. I let the bull go to work in the china shop. I got back to work. I called out your character and you delivered the message while I began to sort things out to heal myself. Receive and let flow is the name of the waza.

How you treat others matters. In your own grandiosity, entitlement, and toxicity you revealed to all who you really are. Authenticity speaks volumes and that’s because it isn’t fake. It’s…authentic. I didn’t hide my pain or pretend to be something I’m not. I did the opposite. I put it all out there. To include every single mistake, fuck up, and hurt I was responsible for. All of it. Everything that I did that made me the bad guy I owned it. I confronted each problem with accountability.

I realized the vulnerability that I gave you by giving you access to my shadow is what you weaponized against me. This became the most powerful means for setting the record straight and exposing the truth. Anything less than the complete truth would have destroyed me. So I didn’t hide from it. This is how I healed so quickly. Once I saw all of it clearly without pretense and without rationalizing I could see you clearly.

You see…I took a journey. I found this beautiful glowing part within me. I rediscovered my integrity, my authenticity, and what value I bring to the world and the people in my life. I saw my own value again. Once I integrated I began to self-actualize.

My final message to you is as simple and clear as it can be. There’s nothing for you to grab ahold of. I defeated you and in the process became a better person who loves themselves. That could have only happened because I was in love with you and I was truly heartbroken.

This sets the record straight.

The best part.. it’s unvarnished truth and I that cuts through all defenses and masks and cuts through the heart.

Make no mistake it was wasn’t vindictive revenge. It was a reckoning you created. I’m just a quicker draw. You can call it preemptive self-preservation if you wish.