This is more of an confession.

This is like a confession, because i feel disgusted at myself.

Okay so, a lot of you might hate me for this and that is warranted.

I just like wanted to say that looking back at it, i didn't know the things i was doing were wrong.

So, to put it simply i want to be anti ai but i have to confess that i used ai chatbots and chat gpt in the past.

I used ai chatbots for my, scenarios in my head and it was in my head a way to like experience fantastical things.

Mind you, i used it when i was a minor, and i used it because i saw a lot of creators i liked, using it. I didn't see any pushback in the comments of those videos but looking back at it i should have done my research.

And i used chatgpt because i wanted to like ask it questions about the human mind and some problems i have. Looking back at it, i definitely shouldn't have asked like an artificial intelligence like life advice because it quietly literally just spews out random stuff that thinks it's going to help.

I definitely should have read like self help books instaed or at least write my feelings down.

To be quiet honest, i still have like that thing in me that wishes to go back to it. It's like an involuntary reaction that i have because i made ai so much of my life that it had became an addiction.

Not only that but, i was kinda using it because i was in a very rough patch in my life, people i liked were just like revolving themselves in problematic things and i stopped supporting them.

I was like hearing the worst takes ever and then realizing that i have to share like the planet with like these problematic people definitely made me want to go to ai for reasurrence because so many people of my life have either just done something that i don't agree with or something so problematic that it made me lose my faith in humanity.

But looking at it now, i realized it was a stupid move.

But i must confess that, i think it helped a bit by spewing out like morality things at me that reminded me why it's like good to do morally good things.

But i think, i was using them more for like a safe space because i am queer but very afraid of like doing it. Like going out with someone my own gender because my country is like pretty homophobic to say the least, not as bad as other countries but i have a fear of like a family member finding out about it.

And also, i was just like, questioning the bad things that happened in my life to it.

Like i don't know why the illusion of someone actually being there for me whether i needed them to be sounded exciting, and maybe that's why i used ai.

But i have like been feeding myself like anti ai content on TikTok, so you could say i am a recovering ai addict.

Sometimes however, i do want to go back to it whether i like lose faith in humanity.

I think i have to relearn to appreciate human connection more.

I am still not certain about the future, but i hope that whether i lose hope in humanity again and in the world, that i won't resort to ai and just like write it down to let out some anger and like use like my creative mind instaed of like "artificial intelligence" there is no intelligence. It's "fast regurgitating".

Here's some videos i saved on my phone from TikTok: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNRpxquwk/ https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNRpQ1V5n/ https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNRpxwRYQ/ https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNRpxXHMT/ https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNRpxKC2f/ https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNRpxGVgh/ https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNRpxs25T/ https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNRpxnKTR/ https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNRpxnuX1/ https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNRpxsvNN/ https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNRpx3q6L/ https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNRpxbK6R/ https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNRpxp8S4/ https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNRpxbFye/ https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNRpxKwK8/ https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNRpxqu8r/