how should i handle my partner wanting to avoid my sister’s baby?

hey all,

my partner of a decade was diagnosed with unexplained infertility a few years ago. since then, there’s been all of the emotional and financial struggles one would expect. but the strangest and most difficult to deal with for me has been the boundaries my partner needs. she really does not have any interest in friends or family that have babies. and she does not feel comfortable discussing her infertility with most people.

the most difficult of these situations for me has been with my sister. my sister and partner never had the strongest relationship, but since my sister fell pregnant and had my nephew, it’s been truly awful. i let my sister know behind the scenes that we are struggling, but at the end of the day, i love being an uncle and don’t see how refusing to visit my nephew or host them makes anything better.

my partner knows this situation is hurting me, but thinks essentially i just need to man up, because what she is dealing with is worse. any advocacy for things to be different gets interpreted as me prioritizing my sister or my needs above her and her mental health.

i’m worried it’s a compatibility issue. i wouldn’t treat a friend this way, let alone one of her core family members. i am aware it’s not a totally abnormal reaction, to need the space. so if anyone reading has been the partner struggling with this aspect
of infertility, would love to hear your thoughts & advice.

thank you