Tainted Purity

I had built a foundation well, I believed I had
I prayed and I begged God to lead me wisely
I feared my Lord, tremendously

A good little girl, too blind to see
She never even swore, cute as a bee
A boy swept me up, how silly of me

I never knew how easy I was to taint, and with my innocence went my faith.

Try to see, we were both kids, just a little younger than me

It’s nearly impossible to catch the victim when it’s two hurt people hurting each other.
It’s hard to feel special when you’ve watched it happen to others.

I was a tease, still am actually.
But suddenly I wasn’t ready
He was excited, and impulse is rarely steady.

It went too fast.
Vocalizing disapproval would only collapse.
He never knew. I froze in time
and never felt pure after May 29th

in that blanket fort that drastically aged my mind.

My vision has started to blur because of my tears.
“The devil’s in the details” I always hear
suddenly I’m all too aware

The complexity of my own anatomy is too much to bear
inhale-exhale-again-again like a box

When will my chest rest if my heart skips every beat?
How did I once live so naturally?

new substack account:
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