Maybe I'm overthinking

So I know that there are most likely going to be those who will say I'm selfish and trust me that has run through my mind several times, well here goes so I'm in a relationship with someone whom I love very much, we've been together for a year and a half now and we both are diagnosed with bpd among other things.

At the moment my fiancé is currently in hospital and has been for a while, and I've been there throughout the whole time visiting as much as I can and just trying to show I'm there for him as he has been through so much over the last year.

Now this is where I will sound selfish, so I know that this time of the year is always difficult for him and that I understand completely, but lately he's been so distant to the point that we are barely talking, I can be waiting sometimes a couple of hours just for a reply to a message, and phone calls are almost non existent, and visits that used to be upto 5 hours are now at the longest an hour and a half, well actually the other day it was half an hour, now normally I wouldn't mind so much but it takes a fair bit of time to travel to him.

Now as I say I know that this time of year is difficult for him, and I'm understanding of that, but I can't help but feel I'm being pushed away and that hurts, there is also loads going on for me with things going on and usually the person I would turn to and tell these things to and how I'm feeling and right now I don't have that, and I know it's selfish, he's going through and I'm sat here like this, and there is part of me that is thinking he is pushing me away for the reason he doesn't want me around anymore, but then another part of me just says I'm overthinking it.

Basically I just don't know.