I don’t feel like myself anymore after my breakup

Hi, I’m a 27F. I went through a breakup 6 months ago, and it was one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had. I don’t think about him as much as I used to, but I still feel sad and lonely most of the time. I still cry sometimes when I walk back home because the route reminds me of memories with him.

I’m usually a bubbly and cheerful person, but lately I don’t even feel like myself anymore. Some days I feel emotionally exhausted, and it’s hard to recognise the version of me I used to be before all of this happened.

I decided to go no contact with him 3 months ago because I thought it was the best thing for me, especially after the way he treated me once the relationship ended. Even now, he never really leaves my mind. Almost every morning when I wake up, he’s the first thing I think about. I even took myself on a holiday two weeks ago, and although it helped for a while, I started feeling sad and lonely again once I came back.

If I had the chance to avoid ever being with him, I honestly would take it. The pain he caused affected me deeply, and it also broke my parents’ hearts seeing me go through such a difficult phase. What makes me sad is that he’s the kind of person who would always put his family above everything else, yet he never seemed to think about the pain he caused me or how it also affected my family.

I’ve gone on a few dates since the breakup, but I still feel empty inside. It makes me feel like I no longer have the desire to meet anyone new. The breakup also changed the way I see myself. Sometimes I feel like I’m not worthy of love because he left me so suddenly on a random Tuesday night before Christmas dinner.