This has been a long time coming now but I've been getting more and more frustrated by how little I feel like she prioritises me or what's important for me - usually for things that are less important or do not yet exist.

For instance, whenever I invite her to something, her answer is never that she'll be there - because she will make the decision to prioritise the thing that's important to me and is making a decision. It doesn't matter how big or small the thing is that I'm inviting her to. A few weeks ago, I let her know that I'm going to be having a graduation party to celebrate getting my PhD - something I'm likely only doing once in my life. Her response was that she'll do her best to make it. Not a yes or a no but a "we'll see" type response. I let her know weeks in advance so that she can put it in the diary. Today I sent the official "invitations" out and she replied saying "have fun" and that she can't make it because she's going to a cousin's baby shower. I also know all her family so know it isn't an immediate cousin. But it always feels like she's waiting for something better to come along. Today was kind of my last straw after dealing with years of this, but I don't know what the result of my last straw is. For context too, we've been living in separate countries for the last few months and I'm travelling back to my home city for my graduation - which is the city she lives in. She can't make it, but I have friends from the city I live in now flying over for the weekend specifically to attend the graduation party and support me.

When I had a birthday party, a few years ago, she didn't come and let me know last minute she wouldn't be there. Okay, fine. When her birthday party came around, her sister wanted to throw her a surprise party and I volunteered we use my home, and I dealt with the subsequent clean up myself. For her birthday, I booked us a spa day and afternoon tea because she always complains that I never do spa days and it's something she really wanted to do with me. For my birthday, she gifted me two books that were very clearly not the kinds of book I read, which anyone could have told you - like she just picked whatever was in the bestsellers section with no thought. It feels like there is always an imbalance in the friendship and I'm fed up about it.

She talks a lot about how we're best friends and how we're like family, but she doesn't act like it. I know people will say that I need to voice my feelings to her but I don't want to have to ask someone to care. I don't want to ask someone to prioritise me - you either do or you don't. I'm too old to tell someone that I'm sick of being blown off and have those conversations.

Pictured is a steak I cooked that I was happy with. Help.

My "best friend" never prioritises me