DAE have autism symptoms interpreted as anxiety?

I'm a trans man, hope it's ok that I post here. I just think that me being viewed as a woman by some people in my life may be relevant to this social dynamic. That being said, DAE get perceived as anxious when they are not, specifically after asking for clarification in social situations?

Sometimes I feel like I will ask further questions about specific social situations (and I am often putting extra effort into remaining calm when I ask, since I have been repeatedly perceived as "hysterical" or especially anxious), and people will act surprised, taken off guard, or start to become anxious themselves, like they're trying to calm me down. I get told often that I am overthinking, too "in my head", and that I need to "lighten up". If I say I'm not feeling anxious, people will often tell me that I actually am anxious and just don't realize it, or something along those lines, and it makes me feel like I'm just crazy. On the flipside, people often don't notice when I'm ACTUALLY anxious.

I struggle to figure out why people tell me this because I feel like I am not appearing particularly solemn or serious or anything. Is it my body language? Tone? Why do people respond to me like this?