Hi there

For a bit now I've thought of nothing but how to quickly kill myself but it's funny because I'm scared of death.I wonder if I should tell my family how I feel but when I think about it that scares me more.I just want to hurt myself over and over because I just don't know what to do anymore.i can't help but think I'm better off disappearing from their sight and I'm just so tired of it all.All my life my sister has been the suicidal one so when I think about her I can't help but think my sadness pales in comparison.Do my issues matter?Do I matter?Would I be happier if I just keep quiet? I just don't know

Just ranting because I'm too scared to say anything to them