Around four months of sobriety but ready to give up.😭

Hello family. My life was already becoming unmanageable thats why I chose drinking,probably an escape, effect/euphoria whatever you call it.

I struggle with lot of anxiety/stress dealing with building a career, my own business. It’s hard, things didn’t workout first time around after months of effort. I am in early 30s, I am losing hope,like no life partner right now, no physical or emotional intimacy, career in grey. I just want to go through this any more, just tired and if this life looks like,I would be better off living like this anymore. Why this has to be painful like this for some people? I am safe.

Then I want to escape and drink is coming in mind, I know i will make it way more difficult.