(17F) Dissociation towards my Mother’s Mental State has left me with Guilt/Shame

I always think of school as of my self space despite not I having any peers nor close companions to hang out with because of my standoffish nature. Though I do enjoy talking with my teachers from time to time about college and SATs. Though mostly tending to myself.
Being the only child, my mother is who I have the closest relationship with:
The only thing I've truly accomplish in is academics (Standing at a 3.7 unweighted Gpa along with being enrolled in dual enrollment classes to obtain associates). I'm planning on heading straight into college not because I need a major, but because I think it will give me enough experience to make connections. (My mother not giving me a choice to attending anything else besides college is a factor).

Main Problem:
She worries how I disconnect myself around others, especially her, ever since I became a teen. Often calling it a phase or that I'm just in one of my attitudes again.
I will admit that once I hit 13 I became more irritated, when older it started to taper off into nothing.
( Im sorry the feeling is hard to describe).

We used to have arguments back to back but now I just want to cut them short and just move on so it won't ruin the only relationship I have. I also can't afford to ruin her Mental health that was already damaged by the toxicity that flows throughout generations of my family. She is quite anxious what people’s intentions are and is
quick to cut them off if they rub her the wrong way. Because of this she vents to me how the family (Mostly my grandmother) is affecting her negativity. I have to constantly reassure Im always on her side but overtime…. you guys can hate me for this:

I don't care about anything that's not retaining to school anymore.

Frequently I'm in this state of mind where anything besides academics seems foreign to me. When at school I feel like I suddenly gain energy, while home drains it. At school I actually feel like I’m doing stuff that having I have interest in a long time. At Home I just want to stay inside, doomscrolling in my bed while she arguees/gossips on the phone to my uncle.
I know it's immature to dismiss her problems when she has done so much for me. So I recommended her to see a therapist only to decline. I encouraged her to seek out some friends her age, was met with the response, “I only have one friend….you and that's all I need. Your the only one who stays by my side so I trust you”.
When she said that I immediately felt guilty for everything that I had pissed me off before. And from then on I started to agree with everything that she wanted to say or do, slowly learning that as long as she’s happy that's all that matters. Recently learned this the hard way through argument surronding my class ring.

Short Story (You can skip if you want to)
- Towards the end of last year, 2026
- An email was sent out to all Juniors to notify us to purchase our class rings before Feburary 2026 rolls around. The lowest cost was 200-700 dollars (Somewhere ranging in the hundreds). I was planning on not to get it due to not being a fan of rings in general and expressed it clear as day to my mother. She decided to buy it anyways claiming how her mother never gave her the money for purchase so she wanted to give me the opportunity. After weighing it on me I finally accepted the offer.

When it was time to customize, Ive wanted it a different birthstone than what I was originally assign to. For the gemstone to be ruby rather than a rose color (forgot what it was called). The reason behind this was to honor my aunt who had passed away almost a decade ago and had the July ruby stone……my mother go ahead to purchase with my birthstone instead :/