Beat the game last night, some thoughts

I beat the game yesterday after around 70 ish hours.

If I wrote this last night, it probably would have sounded a lot more negative. I've sat with the ending for about 24 hours now and I feel a lot better about it than I did during the experience and immediately after. I suppose I wanted to see if anyone else felt the same.

To begin, that whole sequence of leaving the hideaway for the final time, the goodbye to Jill and Torgal, then Dion, Joshua, and that fight with Ultima when Hymn of the Penitent kicked in was honestly just a rollercoaster of emotions and was something to behold throughout, I thoroughly enjoyed it and it felt like a spectacle befitting the conclusion what had been a long journey.

Where I began to struggle was with everything post-Ultima fight; I felt hollow and wholly unsatisfied with how this story ended after getting so invested in these characters and this world.

Here are some of my thoughts from immediately after finishing the game. Firstly, Joshua. I knew Joshua was dead, but Clive scrolling through his memories and healing Joshua's wound gave me this false sense that maybe, just maybe, he will live or be healed. This was the first real hit of cruelty for me, although the writing was on the wall all along for Joshua it still felt brutal for Clive to witness his death, and to make matters worse there was almost a brief moment where I thought that he may live.

Next, Clive. I understand the wanting to destroy every last remnant of Ultima's legacy and bring true freedom to the world. Did he really have to die? Alone, washed up on a beach? I know it's open to interpretation and he may not actually be dead, but again this just did not give me any sort of satisfaction. Surely someone with the power he had could have lived on after destroying Origin. This was another painful blow.

Lastly, Jill and Torgal. I mean what can I say, this was just gut wrenching. Clive promised to return, and maybe he does, but we don't see it.

I just feel this was a disaster for all the main characters. Not one comes out of this ending getting to reap the rewards of the struggle or get any sort of happy ending. There was no pay off, there was no comforting closure. It might happen in our minds, but I wanted to see it, I wanted to get that satisfying ending for everyone, if not everyone then at least Clive and Jill.

Everything felt fast and abrupt, I was genuinely shocked and just sat waiting for the 'real' ending to begin and all of this misery to be passed. And then the credits rolled.

I immediately came onto this sub and started reading threads about people's opinions, and I was genuinely shocked to see how it was mostly really positive with comparisons to some of the best games ever made. Last night I was miles away from this opinion and felt like I had missed something.

Today, having mulled it over, my thoughts are different. I feel I can appreciate the ending a lot more. Thematically, it is fantastic and, as devastating as it is, it reflects the overall harsh reality of this world and this story as well as keeping characters consistent.

A comforting, satisfying ending wasn't something that feels realistic here, despite my hope for one. Clive overcame countless struggles, defied all odds multiple times, essentially reshaped the world. It's only natural this would come at great cost, and in a way it's refreshing for a game to stay true to itself and have the courage to deliver such a bleak ending and show that there are real consequences to such grand actions.

What happened to Dion, Joshua, and Clive is exactly what those characters would have done. At no point did I think this was bizarre or out of character, I suppose I just had a longing to see them get to live in the new world they fought so hard to create, and I struggled with that in the moment as I almost had an idea or expectation of what I felt was going to happen.

The post-credits scene just adds to the ambiguity, and while it seems to lean toward the idea of Clive surviving, I just really wish I could've seen it and not have it left to my imagination.

Overall, it's a devastating but beautiful end to the story. I'll be thinking about it for a while. Thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts.