I miscarried the morning before my abortion and I feel depressed

Hi, I’m 19F and I found out I was pregnant last Sunday. I was only around 5 weeks along. I just started university this year and my boyfriend is only beginning his career, so deep down I knew we weren’t in the right place to raise a child right now.

I’ve always wanted to become a mother one day, and a part of me really did want to keep this baby. But I decided to schedule a surgical abortion because I thought it was the most responsible decision for both of us and for the baby.

This morning, before the procedure, I miscarried naturally. Even though I knew I was going to go through with the abortion, I still feel completely devastated. I’ve been in bed all day crying, in pain, feeling depressed and alone. I feel guilty for being this upset when I had already made my decision, but I can’t stop grieving and feeling like my body failed me somehow.

I honestly don’t know what to do or how to feel right now. My boyfriend doesn’t really understand and keep saying “I’m not even that pregnant” which I understand but still… does it get better?