Fight fire with fire?

Hey all,

I have been no/low contact with most of my immediate family for many years. I am multiply disabled and find myself ruminating a lot about how much easier my life could be if I had supportive family members. Especially since they are in a position to help financially and, with the disabilities, I am struggling to see a way out of lifelong poverty.

I'm having daydreams/fantasies/delusions about sending one last message to close the door that has remained open in my mind. Since I know better than to share anything sincere with them, and my goal is to shift my internal wish for things to be different, it kind of feels like a good opportunity to match energy and traumatize them back.

Has anyone here had success in this kind of strategy? Any tips? Stories? Advice for how to shift out of such rumination and delusion? TIA 🥰