How do I get over him.

I (18m) had this thing with a guy just over a year ago now. It was never officially defined because we hadn’t met in person and when he asked what we were I basically said I wouldn’t properly date someone I’d never met before. But even without a label it felt serious to me. We talked every single day for around 8 months usually calling for 2 to 3 hours a night and messaging constantly.

One day he ignored me for basically the whole day and I got annoyed about it. Instead of talking to me he blocked me on literally everything. Not just social media either Fortnite, Roblox, Spotify everything. I’d genuinely been erased from his life like in a second.

A couple of months later he added me back and apologised. He said he’d been in a really bad place mentally, had started therapy and had apparently talked about me there. He told me his therapist said he should reach out to me again. I forgave him pretty quickly and since then we’ve stayed in contact as friends but honestly I’ve always wanted it to become something more again.

Today we were messaging a lot which has been happening more recently and I finally asked him why he actually blocked me and then added me back later. His answer was basically “idk I guess I was bored” and then he said “sorry I know it was shitty of me”.

I genuinely don’t understand how I can still be so obsessed with someone who treated me like that. But I think part of it is that he made me feel wanted in a way nobody else ever has. I think he was probably my first love or at least the first person I’ve ever felt this strongly about.

The whole thing affected me way more than I’d ever admit to him. I lost a stupid amount of weight. I went from around 65kg to 54kg while being 6’1. Around the same time my sleeping pills got prescribed and honestly I’d just take them so I could sleep through most of the day because being awake felt awful. I barely left the house for like two weeks straight. Looking back now it’s kind of insane that someone who technically wasn’t even my boyfriend managed to affect me that badly.

And then today on top of all that he was casually talking about how he’s been getting with other guys recently. I know realistically he doesn’t owe me anything because we were never together but hearing that still genuinely made me feel sick. I think part of me has been holding onto this idea that maybe one day it would turn into something real and hearing him talk about other people just made me realise how differently we probably saw the whole thing.

So does anyone have any advice how to get over him because I can’t keep being this obsessed with a bum 5’6 ugly bitch like him.