He Unblocked Me

So since the breakup almost 3 weeks ago, my ex blocked me. In the beginning I would text the number “Still blocked?” And when I confirmed I was, I would send over whatever frustrations I had about our situation and then delete the chat.

Today, after a few days of not spiraling and not messaging felt the urge to message. But then quickly discovered I wasn’t blocked. I panicked and then tried to delete the message before he saw it. But he responded “No” and I deleted the chat without opening it. 50 mins later he responded again saying “Not blocked”

I feel really dumb because I was the one who broke no contact in a stupid way. I cried immediately after and it was emotional. He moved in to another woman 16 days after he talked to his BIL about getting me an engagement ring. I always thought he was a good guy but time and space has reinforced that he’s simply not based on his actions.

There is also still a part of me that hopes he comes back which feels sickening to even me.

I don’t get why he unblocked me. I don’t get why he responded. I don’t get why he clarified later. I hate how hard all of this is. It’s just hard and sad.