Should I be thankful?

Married Single Mother Life

I am married with a 15 month old baby.

Me and my husband live abroad so kami lang nandito, since I gave birth it was mostly me doing everything.

My husband works during the day. He pays for rent, bills, our baby's needs. He washes the bottles din.

I have a small online business naman + childcare allowance sa gov, so I have ~47k php
My husband gives me a little extra from time to time but not that much.

My husband is pinoy din naman, galing din sa broken family and really wanted a family
Pero bat ganun? Feel nya okay na yung magbayad sa rent, bills, and baby's needs. Mejo kkb kami sa food pero we treat each other from time to time.

Not once since having a baby nag aya mag resto or labas ANYWHERE

Pag sya mag bantay if I wanna go to the salon he would just turn on the tv the whole day and sleep or if maligo lang ako he would pretend for like 10mins na he's playing with the baby tas tv nalang or mag phone nalang sya then pag narinig nya ako pretend nanaman si gag*

I always have to ask him to do something he should know, like legit wala syang kusa

Since I gave birth I stopped washing his clothes and cooking/sharing food, no complaints naman sya hahaha then he started sleeping na sa ibang kwarto.

It was okay with me at first kasi i wanted to separate din but not leave kasi i think i should stay for financial reasons like I CANNOT RISK HAVING IT WORSE.

I started charging him na everytime ginagalit nya ako kasi that's what he said when I asked him ano gagawin ko if galit ako sa nagawa mo and ayaw mo akong magalit o mag wala LOL

Pero damn i still feel empty emotionally, i'm not the type of person to cheat din. Dont get me wrong ha i take care of the baby on him and focus on him all day but damn won't it be nice if may mag lambing sakin after a tiring day?