People hate that I(M23) do things for my girlfriend(F25)?

I(m23) have been in a relationship with my girlfriend(f25) for around 4 years now. Since the beginning of the relationship i learned that i absolutely love to do things for her. Acts of service is my love language. Small things to make her life more comfortable mainly. I love to put her shoes on for her, tie her shoes, make her food, bring her lunch when she’s at work, wash her dishes, brush her hair, fill up her water bottle, fetch things she needs, wash her hair in the shower, open her doors, buy her things, etc. I love, for a lack of a better word, pampering her. She always makes sure to tell me that she appreciates me and that just makes me feel all kinds of incredible. She makes me feel like i’m the only man jn the world so i feel she is quite deserving of it.

I’ve been like this since the beginning of the relationship. We are happy but i can see from an outside perspective how it could seem like there is an imbalance in effort. I don’t want her to do those things for me(although she tries sometimes) because i am most comfortable when she isn’t exerting herself. But there is a problem in how other people view our relationship and it’s impossible to escape the criticism sometimes, mainly due to family. My mother, who i’m not the biggest fan of, got along fine with my girlfriend in the first year of our relationship. Except when she started making snide comments and mean remarks towards my girlfriend whenever i’d do something small for her. “she can’t do that herself” “i think she knows how to tie her shoes” “why are you being her slave” and stuff like that. I’ve received similar stuff to this whenever i would explain this to friends/acquaintances whenever our relationship would be the topic of conversation but from family it would be the biggest issue. I have failed my girlfriend in the past to stand my ground when these things would be said and that obviously would make her feel terrible.

When my mother would make those comments i would be silent and now i feel terrible for having let it go on for a bit. i absolutely despised confrontation. This came to a head when we took a trip with my family. The tension had built up with the comments being made and my girlfriend was obviously affected. This may have been the only time in my life that i have had to yell in anger towards anyone. I lost it on my mother. I yelled, she yelled, my girlfriend cried, and the relationship between my mother, me, and my girlfriend was permanently changed even 3 years later now.

She doesn’t make those comments anymore but we also moved into our own place so we don’t see much of her anymore anyway. I just don’t understand why people have such a vitriolic reaction when i tell them about all the things i do for her? Do they think i’m being held hostage? They act like I’m being whipped and chained. I just don’t know what to say to them when they react that way. Am i really in the wrong for wanting to take care of her? is it excessive? idrk man.