Im married with my husband for a year now and still cant forget the past

In context, me (34F) n my husband (37M) have been together for around 5 years now but 1 year married . In the past we had a lot of issues, wed breakup and then he would always come back. I think we broke up like 3 times before we finally got married and all those 3 times he came back. When we werent together, i was with someone else and he wasnt i had another bf for atleast 6 months i think. But when we got back together, i asked if he slept with someone and in the beginninghe didnt wanna admit it but i manipulated my questions for him to answer truthfully . He did tell me in the end he slept with someone, but when i asked him when, he said, months ago when it was few days before he decided to invite me for valentines dinner . Fast forward, we got back together n in the end he decided to marry me. We really do love each other and has strong feeling towards each other.

Since married , sometimes i would still rmmber the times he lied in the past which caused us to break up and all the ego and fights . Everytime i rmmber those times, id treat him so bad and talk to him so bad. In general, im not a really forgiving person. I knowi married him but i still cant help that i do love him its just….hard..im the kind of person that if someone hurts me ill remember for the rest of my life n i wouldnt give a flying f if we never speak again. But with him, since he never gave up hence im just like ok whatever .

Idk how to control my feelings sometimes when im mad at him. All i want when im mad is a divorce . I dont want to be mad all the time at him everytime i think about the past but i cant help it. I think i have a problem . Is there any way that anyone overcame this ? TL;DR;