Do I quit my job and take my partner up on their offer to just pay my rent?

Hey there. I (35 trans guy) am feeling thoroughly trapped and stressed. I’m posting here because I’m unsure what to do.

My partner (36 any) is lovely, and while we have struggled, we’ve really grown to truly support one another. They are very generous not just to me, but to everyone in their life. I don’t want to abuse that privilege.

Our relationship is primarily long distance - together for a couple of years with several months long visits. We’re waiting on migration outcomes and will know if I am moving permanently any day now (news is due in 0-5 months).

At the start of the year I took the plunge and decided to work a temporary job in a new state. Part of this was to practice the experience of starting somewhere new and showing myself I could do it.

I moved everything. My dog and I drove 10 hours and I lost all my savings moving and repairing the car. I left all my friends behind (no family ties), and started from zero here. I’m very much paycheque to paycheque.

I unfortunately moved to a place thats… well, not a healthy fit for a trans person. I’m deeply isolated, sometimes explicitly discriminated against, and the workplace is a poor fit for me. All indications are that my mental health is copping a massive toll and attempts to ask to move elsewhere are getting delayed. Since I work in mental health, theres the added shame/pain of every day helping others with their needs from a position of deepening pain. I’ve been delaying taking my T shot until I am safe to do so. Not good.

Attempting to find another job keeps being something I ‘put off’ as I keep saying, ‘any day now I might be able to simply leave’ / ‘its dishonest to apply for a job I know I will leave in months’ / ‘your clients deserve better than someone disappearing’. Part of me is thinking ‘uber eats or restaurant work maybe?’ to just temporarily cover bills. But I live in a major city where those jobs do not cover COL.

My partner is insisting they’ll support me financially and I could just pursue my own interests or projects until its time to move. They’re not rich but they’re comfortable financially, and in secure employment.

I am fearful of abusing the privilege or accepting generosity that isn’t ok to accept. I know I am going to have to be (at least initially) dependent on them when moving, but I feel its ‘different’ right now, when I should just ‘tough it out’.

Having said that, my job is killing me, like crushing my insides to a point of genuinely bad bad thoughts coming up more. Hard to eat, sleep, get up, bathe. Struggling at my breaking point for weeks. I assure you I’m talking to my own professional, and doing what I can to get through. The plan is entirely ‘situational depression cause of the minority stress? It is time to get out’, though.

I would appreciate knowing what you’d do in my situation. Would you ‘head down, work’? Would you get a new job, even temporarily? Would you just accept the generosity and hope it was merely for a few weeks? Would you run back to your home state and beg someone to let you stay on the couch?

I appreciate you reading and I’m listening. Thank you.