“Spontaneously Horny”

Okay so me 29F and my husband 28M have been together for 8 years. started dating in 2018 and got married in 2022 no kids. we’ve always kinda struggled with sex drive being different. he has always had a high sex drive than i have. I dealt with some childhood sexual trauma that didn’t make me want to have sex a lot and he was understanding and patient but he was also frustrated a lot too. we are each other best friend and i’m not worried he isn’t attracted to me because it shows that he is. He works as a Loan Officer and I work with 2 year olds ( 14 of them actually). He does have ADHD( medicated) so he used to be hyper-sexual. not saying he isn’t anymore but i feel like i’ve started to get more of a sex drive here recently and he has declined. last night he made a comment when i was trying to get frisky that “he can’t get spontaneously horny anymore like i could a couple of years ago, you left me hanging. Now there has to be build up.” i definitely understand what he means by the build up but will the spontaneous horniness come back? is this just want it is being adult working 8-5? he does hate the idea of planned sex, which i also get because he don’t have kids, but we get so tired by the end of the night; it doesn’t matter how much we sexted during the day or how horny we were, we just got to bed. we both get frustrated by it so i guess im trying to figure out if there is a way to get the spontaneous horny energy back from him and how do you guys carry through at home even if you’re tired.
please help. any advice would be appreciated.