i was rejected for not seeming excited enough about the role. i was excited. i have a neutral face. i have always had a neutral face.

i want this on record somewhere.

five rounds. each one i prepared, engaged, asked good questions, gave detailed thoughtful answers. by every metric i could measure myself on, the interviews went well.

feedback: strong technically but did not seem passionate or excited about the opportunity. we are looking for candidates who demonstrate enthusiasm for our mission.

i am excited. i was excited during every single conversation. i applied because i cared about the work. i prepared because i cared about the outcome.

but my face does not move much when i feel things. it never has. people who know me well know when i am excited because they know me. a stranger in a 45 minute zoom call does not have that context.

the enthusiasm they were looking for is a performance. a specific kind of expressive performance that reads as genuine to someone evaluating a stranger on a video call. i do not give that performance because it does not feel genuine to me.

i do not know how to be rejected for a trait i cannot change and should not have to.

this is the third time this has happened.