To contact the ex or not to contact the ex

As the title states, with a small Shakespeare quote, I am debating with myself whether or not I reach out to me ex and I guess I need some serious advice because I am moving to the same town he moved to for the same job in less then 6 months time.

I, 22 F need advice. I am supposed to me be moving to the same town my ex, Jake 26 M, is currently in and has been since February this year. We both do the exact same job but I’m about a year ahead in regards to experience and training.

Let me start from the start and give yall some context. Jake and I both instantly connected when we first met at the start of 2024. Our friendship blossomed and we grew closer with each other but never developed anything more than best friends. Jake and I did everything together. We went bowling and mini golf. The movies, and dinner together. We also did little art projects, and he even taught me to snowboard.

I had so much fun with Jake. Life just felt so easy with him. Like I felt this warmth around him. He made me feel safe and understood. Even when we had our arguments, I still felt comfortable around him. My parents absolutely loved him and Jake was amazing at joining in with the banter, teaching my cousin soccer tricks and playing fifa with him, and learning new drawing techniques from my other cousin. Jake honestly is the picture perfect man. He’s such a big family, and a well rounded guy with his hobbies.

What made it so easy to be around him as well was the similarities with his morals and stance on having a family and marriage as well as his aspirations for his career. I might consider myself lucky at this point even knowing him because he genuinely could do no wrong, he’s just such a genuine guy that I can’t fault him for anything. Even our arguments were healthy, we would always work together to fix the problem and he would always take accountability if he did something wrong and never getting upset for my mistakes, he instead helped me understand them better and helped me work out how to be better in future. Jake was so respectful and his character is so strong, someone honestly to look up to, and not to mention he was SMOKIN HOT, like any women would be lucky to snatch him up and have him in their life.

Jake really is one of a kind. He was so caring and honest and always put others first whilst still staying true to himself. Like on days I wasn’t feeling well, he would bring me my favourite snacks and rub my feet with Vicks vapour rub, or if I was having a hard time at work, he would bring me an iced latte with a sweet message written on a post it note to cheer me up. There is no one in this world that can compare to Jake.

This next bit it where is all goes down hill sadly and it breaks my heart just writing this down.

In June of 2025, I had to move 7 hours away for work, which sadly impacted our friendship. We both missed each other dearly and the distance made it harder, being slightly inconvenient to drive to over the weekend but also slightly too expensive to buy a plane ticket for. Jake and I however made a plan that at least once a month we make the plan to drive half way to see each other, taking turns in paying for accomodation or food if we decide to camp.

Well it was late July when Jake and I plus 3 other friends decided to go to the snow for Jake’s 25th birthday. We all knew it was gonna be an awesome weekend, took two extra days off work just to go snowboarding and eat cake all weekend. I had booked the accommodation for all of us to have our own beds and rooms. However, when we arrived, the people at the hotel told us they had to put two people in a seperate room on the 4th floor and three in another room but on the 2nd floor. One of the boys suggested we draw straws to determine who’s going up to the 4th floor but Jake stepped in and said a little to excitedly and asked if him and I can take that room. I could feel myself getting so warm and blushing. The three boys had the biggest grin on their face. Jake turned to me with a little smirk and asked if that was okay with me, I said of course it is. Nervously giggling at this point. Jake and I have shared rooms before but this time it felt different, like something new was blossoming because at this point we have been friends for a 1.5 years but nothing more.

The weekend after that point went so smoothly and we all had an incredible time up until the last day, the day Jake and the boys were meant to go one way, and I go the other. It didn’t end like that though. To spare you guys the details, I had dislocated my shoulder while hitting the park and was in a significant about of pain. I blame the fact I had to buy a ski pass for that part of the mountain range.

Anyways, whilst I was still on the run, star-fished on the floor, Jake was holding my hand the whole time and had put my head in his lap. Taking my goggles and helmet off, putting his beanie on. During the whole process, this man not once left my side. He let me ugly cry into his shoulder and even laughed with me when I was high as a kite from the mix of morphine, fentanyl and the green whistle to stop the pain. He helped change clothes from snow gear into comfy clothes, all while protecting me and making sure my shoulder was stable. He was so gentle and caring to me, in that moment I knew he was my person, whether or not we were dating, I just knew he was my person.

Later that night after being released from hospital, Jake drove me the 4 hours back home from the snow. Helping me all night, even tucking me into bed and making sure I’m comfortable. I remember asking him to stay in bed with me and he did. We both fell asleep cuddling, but I woke up, to him next to me with a coffee and Vegemite toast ready for me. God this man is so sweet.

A week later, HE ASKED ME TO BE HIS GF!!

I SAID YESS!!

I felt so much relief when he did, not knowing deep down I wanted this for such a long time. I spoke to Jake about it and he was feeling the exact same.

The few months after my injury were the hardest. I wasn’t allowed to do my job, i wasn’t allowed to do any sort of physical activity and so it took a huge toll on my mental health, in turn taking a huge toll on my relationship. I just became so detached from everything good in my life and just becoming so frustrated because I couldn’t do anything.

I know this is where I stuffed up and self sabotaged but I started taking all my anger out on Jake. All my shitty thoughts and behaviour, he became the target but he never got mad, he never got upset or ran away. Being the saint he is, he sent me flowers and chocolates and wrote me love letters, reminding me of all the good things in this world and how much he loves me. He patience rubbed off on me and I took my recovery slow, becoming less and less impatient and angry with the world.

Over time, things good better again, still hard with the long distance but it was good. We ended up talking and decided to book a holiday to Whistler in Canada and so in late December of 2025, Jake and I plus 2 other mates, flew to Canada for a snowboarding trip and experience a “White Christmas” (We are from Australia).

The whole place was gorgeous, the snow was incredible and 1000 time better than Aussie snow but the mountains were unreal, such a gorgeous sight to wake up too.

Everything was honestly going perfectly, or so I thought.

Jake became noticeably distant and stand offish with me. He started keeping conversations short and to the point, or talking to me as if it was a chore and hard to have a conversation with me. This sudden change in his behaviour put me on edge because I wasn’t sure what had happened.

When I eventually asked him what was wrong, he just replied saying he was exhausted and wanted to go to bed. I was still suspicious at his answer but left it at that as it was 9.30 at night and we had to fly back home the next day.

About 16 hours later, we arrive at the airport and Jake makes it clear he doesn’t want to talk to me, walking away and not even saying good bye. I run after him to talk to him but he just cold shoulders me and says he has to go home and that he’s just tired.

I get home and instantly start crying, wondering what I have done wrong, overthinking to the point I have a panic attack. I eventually fall asleep out of pure exhaustion but wake up to a few missed called from Jake.

I end up waiting until the next day to call him back so I know my head is clear and I can go into it with a calm mind.

We end up speaking on the phone for a few hours, but to keep things short and due to the fact I can’t exactly remember what was said, I’m gonna write summarised dot points:

- Didn’t think he could do the distance
- Being with me in person makes life easy
- There are rare job opportunities he doesn’t want to miss
- He’s Moving further away for work

He never said these in a malicious way, he was kind and gentle. Reassuring me that it will all be okay and that I’m strong and he will always be there for me, but by the end of the conversation we had decided it was best we walk away from the relationship, because yes the distance was incredibly hard and we were bother going through promotions and job opportunities that required more attention. So ultimately we mutually walked away from the relationship, attempting to restore the friendship but as we both progressively got busier at work, we drifted apart. But during the break up, Jake had ended moving 25 hours away to a different job site. One we both really want to work at.

This brings me back to what brought me here. I am supposed to be moving up to the same place he is currently at, in the same workshop. For so long now I have wanted to try and rekindle something between us but never thought there was any hope, but I guess now there is one. So please give me some advice, would it be a bad idea to reach out him?