"Barb doesnt want to change"

As somebody who has had to re-parent myself and who has fought through being raised by a Barb, it is not as simple as wanting or not wanting to.

Most people who get to 600 lbs want to change. They have "logical" reasons theyre not losing weight. Like "im in too much pain, ill never have xyz body so whats the point, the damage is already done". And to lose weight like that you have to admit you can and could the whole time and just didnt...its a ton of shame to get over. And thats just food and weight. Its not actually a reflection of some major personality issue.

Changing your personality is a huge undertaking. I had a lot of barb tendencies growing up because my family did. I had to actively fight against it. Everyday. Conscious effort. And I had breakdowns over the basic concept of "if I am not who I have been my whole life, who am I? And if i change now, I could have changed the whole time, so I suffered through being that version of me for no reason". Theres a comfort in "welp those is just who I am" because you cant change it, so it must not be your fault.

Barb can want to change all day and probably does. But its not enough to want to change, you have to be willing to do so much stuff you dont want to do. Go to therapy, read mental health books, watch documentaries, and monitor your own thoughts all day everyday for months to years to start working towards a better version.

I started my work when I was young. Barb has wasted most of her life. Shes got like 20-30 years left on a biologically scale most likely. She is going to spend at least a quarter of that time actively changing most things she knew about herself. Thats a huge undertaking.

Barb wants to change. But shes got no one really to help her and push her towards better and her whole mind pushing her towards worse. Dr therapy doctor wants to help, but she hates barb and thats kinda obvious. I think this is the first episode where she actually GOT it that barb is fucking seriously mentally ill. It took her months to get to that point. So the only person in Barbs corner is a woman she pays who absolutely doesnt like barb and was kinda treating her mental health issues as an annoying Karen problem as opposed to a major mental health problem

I hope barb gets real help. But I hate to think that even if she does, so much damage is done so for all the troubles of changing her reward would most likely be a little apartment and a couple hobbies