I feel too alien to exist in any space but my own

Had to leave work early because I was suffocating so badly mentally. It sounds ridiculous but I literally had a breakdown simply due to the fact I couldn't relate to a single co-worker by any metric, like no matter what I was up no one looks at me like I'm normal.

I'm ridiculed for attempting small talk or jokes, then I become quiet. Then in my quietness they find criticism in how awkward/unsocial I am. I feel like I can't win, and that in itself causes such terrible anxiety. For some reason their opinions hold so much weight and become such a burden on me. I've attempted empathy and helping others at work but it's mistaken (maybe rightfully so if I let it) for vulnerability and exploited all too fast.

Days like this make me want to be a recluse. My job is physically demanding anyway, 20-30k steps a day easily - so I think to myself, why not just go be a madman and live in the woods with animals more compassionate than people?

I feel I have no place anywhere. How hard is a touch of kindness?