Almost a year ago, I wrote a satirical guide to being poor and asking for help in Australia. Nothing’s changed — except I’m still in it.

Almost exactly a year ago — May 27, 2025 — I was fresh out of a leaking car, navigating the so-called safety net, and I wrote this. It’s a satirical "starter pack" for anyone entering Australia’s crisis support system. The steps include:

· Prove you’re suffering with exact receipts (that your banking app won’t count)

· Apply for housing that has a 5-to-20-year wait, just to get three nights in a motel

· Express infinite gratitude for anything you receive

· Navigate a maze where every agency plays hot potato with your crisis

· Smile while crying, and never, ever break down or you’ll be labelled unstable

Then I compared it to Finland, where they offer a home first — no hoops, no relay race, no weaponised paperwork. The difference? One system sees the maze as the point. The other sees the person.

Now, nearly a full year later, I’m still in the maze. I’m still homeless. I’m still fighting. And this satire still lands because the system hasn’t changed.

Read the full piece — dark, sharp, and painfully real:

https://medium.com/@cyrille.jeufo/congratulations-youre-in-crisis-here-s-your-starter-pack-48e280c0b3a6