Bedbound Without Any

I've been trying to quit for years. Even had the odd couple of months without, but I've noticed that I become none functional without it. Bedbound, barely able to move, increased pain.

I have chronic fatigue syndrome / fibro and found addiction to be a mixed bag. Clearly it was helping, it just had many negative aspects too. But without it, I can barely walk. I noticed how on days I didn't smoke, I was in and out of consciousness, whereas when I did, I could stay awake longer and with less effects.

I want to be free of this vice. The thousands down the train, the health effects, the incessant need to smoke. It's just the only thing that's allowing me any freedom at the moment.