Wife lied about being turned on by me for years

I (33M) have been with my wife (29F) for 8 years.

Sex was great for the first few years, but after that alternated between a dead bedroom and what felt like pity sex every 3 or 4 days. My wife was unable to get wet no matter what I tried unless we had sex on the day she ovulated. I brought it up several times but she insisted she was aroused and enjoyed the sex and didn't know why she couldn't get wet. She refused to go to the doctor about it.

I tried everything I read online - even more foreplay than usual, taking on more work around the house even though I work more than her, more dates - and nothing worked. I asked about it online and was always told it's a common issue for women and that I was a bad husband for expecting my wife to get soaking wet in my presence.

I struggled for years with mental health. Every time I'd reach into her panties after foreplay and feel her completely dry, more of my confidence chipped away. Being unable to make her cum unless she was face down with her eyes closed made me feel like a loser. Her completely drying up during missionary when I loved her and just wanted to bond in that position was a horrible feeling. Yet I convinced myself I was a piece of crap for expecting her to be wet and that her being dry doesn't mean she isn't aroused by me.

Several months ago she wanted to start trying to get pregnant. I agreed because I wanted kids too and loved her even though sex was bad. We were unable to conceive several months in a row and I finally insisted she go to the doctor and get checked in case this and her dryness were related. A couple days later she breaks down and finally opens up that she has been unable to get aroused by me for years and has only been having sex and initiating since I complained about a dead bedroom in the past and she didn't want me to be unsatisfied.

Her defense? She says she doesn't get aroused by anything, and it's not specifically me. But I can't get over the years of lying. Years of initiating sex with me when she didn't even want it, letting me waste my time and make a fool of myself trying to turn her on, destroying my self esteem every time.

Where do I even go from here? I can't believe she would lie to me for years and not care about the effect it was having on me.