7 year old keeps making up lies and saying awful things.

I am 26F and my son is 7. I am married, his father is older than me, he’s 40M. We’ve been together since I was 18.

My son has had some behavior issues since he was around 2-3 years old and he would often hit his dad, have big tantrums, and not listen. I remember one time around age 3, he threw a toy car and busted a light fixture.

Around age 4, it got worse. He would have these fits where he would scream and yell, fall in the floor. It was very hard to get any grocery shopping or anything done because he would act up in the stores.

His grandparents and great grandparents noticed this stuff when they would keep him and said he would get bored very easy and nothing seemed to ever keep his attention long.

Kindergarten year, his teacher wrote home several times. She said at lunch he was continuing to get into trouble for “not keeping his hands to himself”. Apparently he grabbed a little girl, then a girl got her hand caught between the lunch tables.

During this kindergarten year when he was 6, when he would get off the bus he wouldn’t even speak to me. He would walk right past me and get into the car to go home. (The bus stop was at a busy road and I’d drive us back home instead of walk)
Our neighbor next door had a son who sometimes played with my son. He was a bit older, around 10. They‘d play ball or just ride scooters, etc.

Well the little boy came to my door and seemed hesitant to tell me, but said my son would randomly get a stick and hit his arm and that it really hurt. He also said when I’d bring lunch out there, my son would throw it and he tried to tell him not to waste food.

One day he got off the bus and said all day long he had thoughts in his head to “kill Sarah” over and over. For reference, Sarah was a girl he had a crush on in school.

He said his thoughts would tell him to get a knife and kill her. This progressed into an every night thing. He would run into my room, say the thoughts were back, and he would say he had thoughts in his head to get a knife and kill me, kill different girls, and to kill his teacher.

Of course I pulled him out of school, for him therapy.

His first psychologist said he definitely has ADHD, but ADHD was absolutely not causing this. She said kids this age were too young to diagnose any personality disorder, but she wrote he had a “conduct disorder” and did not believe these thoughts and behaviors were coming from anxiety either. She wanted to put him on a antipsychotic

I started home schooling him and the thoughts went away. He still had other behaviors.

For example he found a way to circumvent the parental controls on the iPad and get on safari after I told him no, he’s only allowed Minecraft. He was looking up curse words, and “I am choking help me” and other odd things like the most realistic destructive tornado games.

He has said very strange things and often brings up death. He made a comment about a newborn baby one time and said something about stepping on it and crushing its head.

For first grade, we tried enrolling him again since he has been under the care of a doctor.

Same issue.

Wasn’t a few weeks and he was having thoughts about 2 neighbor girls and another classmate.

Immediately pulled him out. I feel like this is making me go insane. I have POTS and several health issues and the stress from this makes me physically ill.

It is very difficult for me to home school and I don’t know what on earth to do come August. Of course he hasn’t had any “thoughts” at home but as soon as he gets to school, they start again.

He once told me he learned a new superpower and can “cry to get his way”.

For months now, he says very bizarre “jokes”. He will tell me he saw his dad kissing another woman. He made up a lie that he saw his dad kissing the mailman, and cheating on me with the guy who mows our lawn. He says things like “I don’t think daddy likes you” and “I think daddy hates you and thinks you’re ugly and wouldn’t care if you died”.

I’ve told him many times to stop, took things away, the iPad is permanently gone. My husband finally told him to stop making things up, it’s not true.

I ask my son if anybody has said these cruel things about me and he said no, he said he doesn’t know why he says them.

He has made up a lie on his art teacher that she refused to let him go to the bathroom, but after talking with her, she said my son never ask to go.

He’s said I hit him when I never have, he said his grandma wouldn’t give him water, told his grandparents I refused to talk to him about God (not true) and that his dad hit him. He’ll go to both parents and make stuff up. Obviously not happening.

It’s like he wants to see me and my husband fight or argue. Which we’ve already had a terrible time.. I can’t take anymore.

For some reference, on my husbands side, his father is a convicted serial killer serving 2 life sentence terms and is a diagnosed psychopath. My husband is a “self proclaimed narcissist” and has displayed a lot of the same issues himself, going all the way back to childhood. He said he had thoughts about how to blow up schools.

My son has moments where he can be very sweet, loving, tells me he loved me, checks on me when I’m sick. Then it’s just like another side to him comes out.

I don’t know what to do and I cannot keep living this way.