I’m disappointed about how my bf proposed

I really hate the way my (now fiance) proposed

I got engaged to my bf last night! And while I’m very happy we are engaged I’m really realllly disappointed in the way he did it.

He did a fantastic job on the ring and I’m so pleased and happy to be engaged but I literally had several discussions with him about how I would like it done so it’s memorable and felt special (ex out hiking , where our first date was , at our favorite dancehall and bonus points if he got it photographed)

For context he travels for work and has been gone the last 2 months and I have gone to see him 2x now and he came home unexpectedly Wednesday night and I had dinner prepped for him etc trying to make him feel special and welcomed home!

Yesterday I get home from work I start preparing dinner, he gets home and changes into a sweater and Jeans (I’m literally in pajamas no make up and my hair is in a shitty bun) and he goes on the back porch to smoke a cbd joint I bring him out a drink and we chat then he says I’ve been trying to do this a few times but I’m jus gonna do it now before I get too anxious not to and then drop to his knee (my immediate response was “nah you’re fkn lying” lol)

I really feel like a brat for being upset and disappointed but it just didn’t feel very special or thought out for me and while I get he was anxious ,worried and just trying to get it over with while he had the courage to do it I literally wish he would’ve done it in any other way than on the back porch while I’m in my pjs 🙃

Part of me honestly wants to give the ring back and say try again later like a gah damn magic 8 ball 💀

I feel bad for feeling this way and being so upset about it and am too embarrassed to say it to my friends or family cause I don’t want it getting back to him and making him feel bad.