Need advice and guidance regarding my bf

I don't know if I'm expecting too much or just ignoring my own needs.

I'm 23, and this is my second relationship. My first boyfriend used to take me out more even though he earned very little back then and didn't even have his own house. But emotionally, I never really felt connected to him, so I ended it.

Now with my current boyfriend, both 23, it's almost the opposite. Its is almost 4 years relationship. We're both middle class and trying to build our lives. He works a lot and I know he's trying to create a better future for us. But emotionally, I still feel neglected most of the times. He doesn't give me enough time, and I'm honestly drained from constantly expecting more.

I even tried breaking up. In 6 months, he only came back once. Later my parents found out about us, spoke to him about marriage and all, and I decided to give him one last chance. But again, I ended up disappointed.

Another thing bothering me is that I've always imagined living separately after marriage, just me and him, so we could build our life together properly. But when my cousin casually brought this topic up, his response was "How can I throw my parents away?"

The reason this affects me so deeply is because I grew up watching my mom suffer because of her in-laws and my uncles. My dad was never really a great husband and rarely took a stand for her. Seeing that my whole life has honestly left me scared that I'll end up in the same situation if I stay with my husband's parents after marriage.

Now I'm scared to even talk about it directly because I don't want to hurt him or sound selfish. So instead I've just stopped talking much because my mind is completely messed up ever since the marriage topic became serious.

I genuinely care about him, but I'm starting to wonder if love is enough when your emotional needs keep going unmet, especially when your fears about the future feel this heavy.