I blacked out for the first time and i’m scared shitless

I f(22) blacked out for the first time last night and it has really scared me. I know I have always been fond of a few drinks and have taken it too far from time to time, but this is really after freaking me out.

Addiction runs very deep in my family, my uncle died of alcoholism 2 years ago, my dad was a very heavy drinker in his 20-40s (he is 75 now so he’s asleep after 2 pints) my aunt has to have a bacardi and a joint to be able to sleep and both of my older sibling are addicts. I know that this black out is the big neon sign flashing at me saying “This will happen again if you don’t stop”.

I struggled with a little bit of an alcohol dependency in my first year of college as I was very depressed and in a bad situation-ship. But it also didn’t feel like a dependency because drinking in college is so normalised. However I never had a night i couldn’t fully remember.

I know one black out does not make me an alcoholic automatically but I really just want advice on how I move forward with this and how I can moderate my drinking. I don’t want to be my uncle, i don’t want to have to go to rehab like my brother, or struggle to stay sober like my sister. I don’t want to accidentally hurt people by what I say and do and then not even remember it. But i don’t really know how to control this.

I’m not depressed or particularly stressed now so i don’t know what is after making me drinking like this. It may be the first black out but it is not the first time I’ve had to leave and event early due to my drunkness, gone too far, or been this hungover. But this is the sign that I either stop or this will continue and i need to face that i am going down a bad path with how i consume alcohol.

I think at this stage i don’t have to go sober if I can get this under control, so any tips on moderation, being able to say no, and how to know when im approaching my last drink would be greatly appreciated.

However im not stupid, i know that if I don’t get my shit under control, sobriety will have to be my next step.