[25M][30F] I have Asperger’s and got emotionally dependent on a woman who strung me along for 18 months then ghosted me. How do I move on ?

Hello everyone. I wanted to talk about an aspect of my personality that often works against me: obsessions.
I have Asperger’s Syndrome, and one trait of it is that when something matters to me, it loops in my head and keeps coming back. It annoys the people around me, and I know that firsthand, even though I’ve worked on it a lot over the last few years.
When I care about someone, and especially when feelings develop, that person takes up a huge space in my mind and I sometimes develop what’s called emotional dependency.
That happened to me recently, and I lost the relationship.
I don’t blame myself for it.

I was in love, she knew it, and she strung me along for months because she didn’t know what she wanted.
She would come spend entire evenings at my place watching movies with me while she was in a relationship.
She almost never mentioned her relationship, which wasn’t going well, because she’d forget her problems for an evening. I was her band-aid.
Even though nothing ever happened, it wasn’t respectful toward me or her partner.
I clearly expressed my feelings to her twice.

The first time, I didn’t get a clear answer. The second time, she told me it was mutual, even though she was still in a relationship.
But there was no reciprocity in her actions. She wasn’t there when I needed her. When I reached out, she’d reply days later, and she was never able to make a clear decision.
She kept going hot and cold constantly, and it made me suffer terribly.
She eventually realized the situation wasn’t okay and told me she wasn’t sure she wanted to go further, that we had an age gap (she’s five years older), she told me about hard things she’d been through, about her relationship, etc…

But it was too late. My feelings were too strong. It had been going on for months.
Especially since she never fully closed the door — for example, she invited me to sleep over at her place a few days later.
All these inconsistent behaviors threw me off. I tried to handle the situation as best I could and preserve the friendship despite my feelings, but without success.
Without realizing it, I became a bit intense with her. I gave her gifts, I increasingly wanted to see her…
On her side, she kept blowing hot and cold.
At one point, I was emotionally drained and I was a little too insistent — nothing catastrophic. I called twice and sent two messages on Insta and WhatsApp within 24 hours.

But that was enough for her to ghost me.
I never got an explanation, never got a message saying we’re stopping here. I just stopped getting replies.
I first tried to close things properly, but with no response, I understood I shouldn’t reach out to her again.
I removed her from my socials.
We ran into each other twice. The first time we didn’t even say hello and avoided each other.
The second time, I quickly went to greet her and her family to break the awkwardness, because we’ll probably cross paths again, then I went back to my friends. It was cordial, but not warm.
I know that bond wasn’t healthy and that a lot of things weren’t right on her end.

She’s a troubled person and it affects her behavior. I ignored red flags and kept hoping even though people around me told me she was treating me badly and that I needed to distance myself.
I’m still sad, because it lasted a year and a half and we shared some really good moments. I supported her when she had a fire, went with her to a loved one’s funeral…
I can’t believe she could ghost me like that.
I’m also angry at her. I’m not perfect in this story, but her attitude was problematic and her ghosting shows a blatant lack of courage.
It’s been five months since it ended and I still can’t move on.

This relationship doesn’t deserve me still giving it importance, and yet I still do.
I’d just like to forget this story and focus on the people who love and respect me — and there are many — but grieving it is still hard.
Mentally, it’s been a rollercoaster. Sometimes I think about it less, and then it comes back.
We’ve all lost relationships. There are stories much worse than mine, but this still affects me very strongly. The impact on my self-confidence has been really violent.