ways i’ve gotten “uglier” because of bulimia.

just a quick disclaimer, i understand this disorder isn’t always appearance based, but for me, and some others, it can be. i’m only writing this list in hopes of deterring anyone from continuing to get worse.

1. constant breakouts. i’m very consistent with skincare, my skin was clear and fine. ever since i started purging, it kept breaking out. even now that i’ve mostly stopped, i can’t fully go back to how it used to be.

2. always bloated. doesn’t matter what i eat or drink, or if i’ve pooped or not, i’m always bloated. in a way it doesn’t even matter if im at my “dream body” bc im always bloated and never get to see it.

3. swollen face/jawline. my jawline is nonexistent, my cheeks always puffy. i feel like i’ve got something in my cheeks when i talk from how swollen it feels. it’s obvious in the mirror, even worse in photos.

4. hair loss. i keep getting breakages, thinning, just horrible hair health in general. i can slather all the hair masks i want but its not fixing my nutrition.

5. yellow teeth. doesn’t matter what whitening strips i use, it doesn’t help at all. it’s really ugly and i hate smiling with teeth because of it.

6. bad breath. brushing my teeth and taking so much gum and mints can’t cover up the hour long bp session i just had. everyone can smell it. bile is not a pleasant scent.

7. bad fat distribution. all my weight stores on my stomach now to protect my organs. it makes me look disproportionate. but my body is quite literally dying.

no amount of effort can hide the ugliness of this disorder. the only way is recovery. please pick the way out sooner than later.

i’m months into recover and i feel so much better already. i hope you all can make small steps too.