Feeling sad about non-inherentness of our plurality

Anyone else here who keeps hearing that "If you wanted to be plural, then you might discover that you were plural all along" but for whom that never happened? Through tulpamancy I've been a member of a system since like six months. But as someone who's been fascinated by plurality for as long as I can think, I'm a bit sad that there was never any kind of "discovery" of preexisiting plurality.

My headmates are all awesome, but I'm frustrated we all had to and still have to actively create our plurality, instead of just having it naturally. Part of it is also my headmates being sad that they don't have any history prior to being actively created, and I don't like the fact I got to be the only one who was there all along, and still carry the most responsibility because of that.

Just some stream of consciousness from me. I'm curious if anyone can relate or has any advice.