Am I(25F) overthinking this or is this genuinely wrong?

I(F) was dating this guy(28F), for the past 3 years, in LDR, never met, video calls mostly.

He belonged to the other corner of the country.

Since the beginning of the relationship, fights were a constant, mostly about him promising some things, and then backtracking from it, my own insecurities, the distance, and stuff.

We would work on it, and eventually move past it.

We had a general compatibility.

I was always honest, and upfront with my thoughts with him(which he didn't like sometimes).

He has been decent, respectful throughout, very gentle, emotionally available, loved me dearly, been there in my tough times, dealt with my tantrums, insecurities, and anger issues(I have said many nasty things to him in anger on the worst possible occasions), worked on it with me in the past.

But for the past 5-7 months, fights have become a regular affair, since we started getting intimate in the digital setup.

Since that day, every night he would mostly talk to me with love with the expectation of doing it.

Otherwise, he would just sleep, unlike the past 2.5 years, when he would genuinely caress me, show love, interest in me/us without expecting anything sexual in return.

I am genuinely attracted to him(he says otherwise), but I am a person with a low libido in general.

But if I say no(which I do, almost 80% of the time), his behaviour changes a little, he would either cut the call abruptly after a while, and then lie that it was a network issue, or would give me "you do not love me anymore" in a childish tone, or worse, throw a tantrum.

I can no longer read at night, or watch a movie alone.

Whenever I bring this behaviour up, he says "now that is exactly called overthinking",

or worse, he argues with me instead, saying that I am accusing him of "forcing himself upon me", "being a liar", "cheating" etc.

Both of us end up saying nasty things, and eventually blocking each other every time.

Though he almost always apologises the next morning. I do too.

But his immediate apologies never get translated into concrete actions.

And then it repeats again in a few days.

The act in itself is not problematic.

We have often had a great time together.

But right after the act, he either feels guilty, or sleeps without giving me any sort of affection, unless I verbally ask for it.

He sleeps within seconds. Without caring if I did.

And mostly I am not able to.

So I stay up rest of the night, doomscrolling.

He doesn't even notice that because of this my sleep cycle gets constantly affected.

I get almost nothing done.

He doesn't even know at what time I get up.

He doesn't text me throughout the day unless I do.

And then in the day time, he gives me a lecture about how I should do this, and that.

I do not sleep without him on a normal day.

Hence, I couldn't sleep even today.

He is not some sexual predator. I am certain of that.

It is just that the whole nature of our relationship has flipped since we did it first.

I believe intimacy is only one aspect of our problem.

Even if we are on a VC, and I am busy doing something, not looking at him, he instantly, within seconds gets offended, keeps making faces.

We probably have some deeper issues due to this constant fighting, and saying things to each other.

I have brought up "the breakup conversation" quite many times before.

But neither of us take it well.

It is just that I had fallen for a completely different person.

Deep down, I do not want to lose him, but I feel like I will anyway, or I will end up living a "submissive life".

I cannot afford that in a "marriage out of love" setup.

I trust him a lot otherwise. More than anyone.

He has never cheated on me in the past, nor have I.

I love him deeply.

I am certain that he does too.

But these constant fights, little lies, and the immediate apologies without any concrete action towards a possible solution make me believe that maybe one day it would turn into a big lie or fight, and I would be devastated.

One day he would get even more distanced, and find someone nearby, who understands him better, and has a better relationship with him, emotionally, sexually.

I do not know if I am overthinking this, or trying to trace some old pattern from a past bad experience.

I bring this conversation up after every few days, because he doesn't change anything about it.

He gets irritated instead.

Brings up random out of context past arguments to put me down.

Yesterday it was like, "You are used to taking shit, I am not."

I get angry, horribly frustrated, and say something even worse, and there we go.

The argument goes the exact same way every time.

He deletes all old messages immediately.

I am not good at remembering old arguments.

I either have to save messages or take screenshots, which I try to avoid now to not think negatively about him.

But I cannot even recall the context of the arguments often.

It is a vicious cycle. Emotionally draining. For both of us(I guess).

The same happened today. I am blocked from everywhere.

Tmrw I will be unblocked, and there would be a "I am sorry" but nothing would change for any of us.

Every argument is eventually blamed on me, and he expects me to suggest a solution.

I do not know who to discuss this with even.

I am a grown up myself.

It has been months.

Can't discuss with him(ignites an argument).

Can't discuss with friends either.

If I tell them, they might end up judging him, which I do not want.

Because I genuinely hope for a long term thing with this person.

Hence, I am posting this here.

PS: Why did we not meet?

(We've had our fair share of arguments over this as well)

His reason - He is stuck with his exams and stuff and would only come after he is done with it.

Although, he does travel with his family almost every year, but did not consider coming to meet me even once in the past 3 years.

His response, "why can't you come instead?"

On my part, I come from a strict background, and I will not be allowed to travel to the other end of the country without a solid reason.

TLDR: Bf and I keep fighting over petty issues and never resolve it, now taking a toll on our relationship.