Wish I had a diagnosis to label my issues

I barely have any issues, so I know I don’t actually have any conditions, but I wish that I did have a label to explain my difficulties. Which is kind of pathetic, because it means I am just a fuckup trying to avoid taking accountability for my own incompetence.

I get phases of intrusive thoughts from time to time that last for a while. But they aren’t crippling enough nor do I have compulsions or anything so it isn’t something like OCD. Having a label would at least help me know for a fact that the distressing thoughts I experience are not real or true, and they are actually intrusive. Like if I had the label of OCD, it would be a nice thing to remember in times when disturbing thoughts are bothering me, because the label proves that most likely the thoughts aren’t true.

Also I struggle incredibly in social situations. Feels like so much effort and my mind just goes blank. Spent years of my life trying to improve and work on this skill but I was left a socially burnt out mess who probably has less of a personality and social ability than when I started that journey. Can’t do anything other than surface conversations. I wish I had an explanation, but I think it might completely be a skill issue. But this issue is standalone, and I don’t have any other symptoms that would classify this for neurodivergence or social anxiety or anything like that.

The dumbest thing is that I have done so many online tests or read through symptoms of conditions that might fit these symptoms like OCD or autism. I constantly look for similarities between myself and people who are listing symptoms of their illnesses to see if maybe I fit that description. Like I’m constantly trying to find a label to put on myself, despite knowing that I don’t actually have any conditions and am missing many symptoms that are part of the criteria of said conditions