PSSD or withdrawal? Help me please

Got covid, developed long covid + mononucleosis: hearing loss, brain fog, fatigue, OCD, anxiety, blurred vision, eye floaters and a lot more symptoms. Didn't know it was long covid, didn't know it was mono. Prescribed lexapro and clonazepam as the doctors thought it was psychosomatic or things like that. I took them, I was desperate.

Then connected the points: long covid and mono, several deficiencies in blood exams, read about benzodiazepines side effects and SRRI PSSD. I was terrified. I couldn't stop taking coldturkey both, so I start tapering off clonazepam while escitalopram started to take effect. I was in hell with symptoms. I decided that I would start tapering off the escitalopram as soon as I stopped the rivotril, and so I did. Meanwhile I started to take a lot of supplements to address my deficiencies.

After 1 month since the start of the drugs I developed ED and I'd say 70% lost of sensation down there. My mood improved though.

After 2 months at the full dose (10mg) of escitalopram, I started to taper off 1mg every 2 weeks until 5mg, stayed on that dose for 1 month and then started to taper off 0.5mg every 2 weeks. I was aware of the 10% tapering thing but I wanted to stop to take them the soon as possible. Tapering started in july 2025 and finished on 1 january 2026.

Honestly, I was fine during the taper, no side effects aside from some insomnia, my mood skyrocketed and all the sexual side effects I was having improved over time, so I was confident I was moving to the right direction.

Then 2 days after the last dose I had severe headache, fever, body chills, very bad sinusitis, cough, I took a drug with NAC and during the night I had a panick attack with a sensation of breathing very cold air, but I attributed it to the NAC drug.

I thought I just had a cold but now I'm starting to think it was withdrawal from the SSRI. Also because the days after I continued to have a sensation of lightheadedness and very bad fatigue, I slept on the train to my job multiple times and I've never slept on a vehicle before.

I then realized that I was having an hard time focusing, then as now my short-term memory is non-existent, I have trouble reading, remembering things, processing new informations and learn things. I was very smart prior to all of this. And I have a lot of visual issues that make me crazy: floaters, blurred vision, mild visual snow, mild palinopsia.
I'm on the edge all the time with annoiying headaches and anxiety all over the place.

I also noticed that I don't remember clearly what happened during the time I was under the medication, I have very poor detailed memories of those months and I don't remember a lot of things, it's strange because I've been always very good with recalling memories of the past.

I'm scared and don't know what to do. I'm considering reinstatement with a very low dose but I don't know if it's a good idea. I don't know if this is withdrawal or PSSD. I have not sexual sides effects but "only" cognitive and neurological ones.

Please help me.