state testing anxiety and self doubt

it's testing season at my school and a few days ago i failed the biology eoc by one point. today, monday, and tuesday is geometry testing. i'm studying all the material i need to know but my boyfriend just told me he passed but i'm jealous because i'm stupid and don't know shit. im only jealous because like i said i don't really get good test scores and i'll crash out and/or be suicidal but geometry is the test we have to pass for graduation. And i just want to say that 10th grade is the most stressful year ever because of all these damn tests we have to pass and the grading scale is so rigged for the people that actually try and still fail. and it's just that when someone in general says "ik i'm going to fail" they actually pass but when i say i'm going to fail AND/OR i can succeed, of even if i actually study everything, i STILL fucking fail like HUH?? that's why i'm so negative about myself. well that what the school brainwashed in my head so it's not my fault.

but god forbid if anyone did something to themselves because of bad test grades... (like me)

the school system sucks on god💔

theres 2 requirements tests to graduate

the florida geometry eoc

and

the fast pm3 reading test

AND I DONT KNOW SHIT!!!

i'm already stressed and i think my blood pressure is accelerating

this makes me have LOW suicidal thoughts all over again