My life sucks and i'm an empty vessel.

Pretty much- I (24F) have been through alot of trauma these past few years, emotionally and physically. Didn't take life as seriously as I should've. Didn't put any time into building myself. When I wasn't dealing with bullshit, I spent my free time getting high, drinking til I passed out, cutting my thighs, watching porn or playing video games just to cope and distract myself from the life that I had. Fast forward to over a year later. I have a baby and no longer do those things. I'm not with her father anymore due to sheer incompatibility. He lives hours away. Lost a job I previously had due to inconsistent childcare/transportation. My ex told me that I was useless, that i'm nothing and have nothing and he's right. I'm severely depressed and anxious. I no longer feel passion or excitement for anything in this life. I'm socially awkward and have no friends, not even online. I live with my parents. I don't go out anywhere or do anything. I only go outside to take my baby on walks. Pretty much, i'm a miserable loser. I was aware that I wasn't financially, mentally, or emotionally stable enough for a child but I decided not to go through an abortion for her father, which I know wasn't a good idea at all but you can't change the past. Being told "If you get an abortion, you'll never have another first child again." took him 3 months to finally offer me some help with getting it (we live in Texas)- but by that time, I was already in too deep and felt a great need to protect my baby. I have nothing to my name. Dropped out of college years ago due to nearly dying in a car accident, having to relearn how to walk. I recently applied for a scholarship to help pay for childcare because I want more than ever to go back to work/school and build a foundation for my little one. She is the only thing that keeps me going. The only thing that makes me smile. Every day I wake up, take care of her, and wallow in sorrow and melancholy until we go to sleep. Lying in bed at night after finally consoling the inconsolable and getting baby to sleep, staring at the ceiling and basking in the loneliness that surrounds me. I don't know what I want to go to school for. Where exactly to go from here. Meds don't help. Therapy never did either- felt like every psychiatrist or therapist just waited until their timer was up. I want to get better. I want to change. I want to be happy and experience life. I never really got to and time is only flying by.