After 30 years of suffering, I want to see a professional, need advices

Hi everyone,

I’m 29M, a software engineer, I’m satisfied with my life and with what I’m building, but I’ve been struggling since I was a kid. I don’t really have panic attacks, and my anxiety is not paralyzing. It’s a diffuse anxiety.

The story I am about to tel you can seem easy and not a big deal but trust me guys, It's a hard life that I leave.

My brain never really leaves me alone. From the first seconds after waking up, it starts looking for problems. Even when everything is fine, my mind keeps digging until it finds something to worry about.

After a happy event, I often feel like something bad must happen afterward.

• If I sleep with someone and contraception was used (both pill and cdmn) , a few days later I may suddenly think: “What if she gets pregnant?” Then I get a spike of anxiety.
• If I’m doing well financially as an entrepreneur, I may suddenly think: “What if a client sues me and I lose everything?” Another anxiety spike.
• If I see a video about someone being falsely accused and sent to prison, I start thinking: “What if that happened to me?” then another shot of anxx

Other examples from my daily life:

• I can’t leave my apartment without spending 15 minutes checking whether I really locked the door.
• I have put cameras facing my stove so I can check whether I turned the burners off.
• If I take an exam, later that night I might suddenly think: “What if I forgot to write my name on the paper?” and then my mind jumps to catastrophic consequences like failing or having to repeat the year.

The earliest example I can remember was when I was 4 years old. I threw a candy wrapper on the road and became terrified that the police would come and arrest me. I told my mother, and she went to check the road, but the wrapper had already been blown away by the wind. She told me she had picked it up to reassure me. Even then, I was still scared the police would come for me.

Today, I know I need to see a professional. But there are many types of psychologists and therapists, and I’m not sure what kind of practitioner I should target for the best care.